Say it ain't so, Rajiv

A couple of weeks ago I had a phone consultation with a computer techie who identified himself as "Mark Smith." Based on his accent, I found this utterly preposterous. Mahesh Sattarjee, maybe, but not Mark Smith. Then last night, my Vonage system suddenly and inexplicably stopped working, so I called customer service to get someone to help me fix it. My consultant was incredibly helpful, patient, and thorough, and also spoke with a fairly heavy Indian accent (e.g., his "v"s were "w"s, so he kept telling me to unplug my Wonage dewice). He identified himself as "John."

I guess this is part of the backlash against Indian call centers -- I can't tell you how many people I've heard bitching about how they called to get help with their [fill in the blank] and got some goddamned fer'ner on the line who could barely speak English. Sometimes I'm able to resist the urge to point out that the goddamned fer'ner who barely speaks English likely has an advanced degree from some technical institute that would put most academic institutions in the Western world to shame, and notwithstanding the accent, speaks English at least as well as most Americans do.

I know I have an unfair advantage. I lived in India for a long time, and have no problem understanding Indian accents. I love India, continue to be fascinated by Indian literature and Indian mythology and culture, I follow Indian politics, and I'm psyched for the Indians who are able to take advantage of the country's economic and technological boom to get a good-paying job that allows them to live well and prosper. When I reach one of those call centers, my reaction isn't, "shit, I'm talking to someone in India," but rather, "cool! I'm talking to someone in India!!" I start chatting them up and asking them where they are and if the shopping is still good at Jan Path or if they've ever been to the Ghunghroo, the dance club in the basement of the Maurya Sheraton in New Delhi that my friends and I used to haunt in high school.

So it makes me sad that they feel the need to try to hide their ethnicity with anglicized names. I would so much rather talk to a Rahul or a Vikram than a Ralph or Vincent.