Ugh.
When did this happen? I used to have some style. I had gorgeous suits that I wore to work and a pretty slammin' shoe collection and cool clothes that I wore out with my friends, and I looked somewhat hip some of the time.
But when we moved to Hawaii, I knew I would have no need for suits so I sold them or gave them away, and did the same with most of my shoes and my winter clothes. Then I got pregnant, so all I wore was maternity clothes, usually tank tops and baggy pants. After the baby I never really went shopping except to buy t-shirts in bulk at WalMart or KMart.
And so here I am. I feel like I look so boring and conventional. And old. But it's hard to justify going out and buying cool clothes, because I don't have anywhere to wear them anyway -- all I ever do is go from home to daycare to the grocery store to back home again. Plus Zeke has an ear infection and isn't sleeping again and I'm so tired and I feel like I have no time to clean the house or get my work done or just read a book or do anything but stumble from one chore to the next, completely delirious with exhaustion. I feel like the "before" picture -- the "what not to do" picture -- from a Ladies Home Journal article on The Modern Mom Trying To Do It All.
Ugh.
I'm betting you're totally an "after"!
ReplyDeleteBut those days are just so demoralizing, aren't they? They make you question who you are and the choices you've made. I'm having one of those myself.
Sigh. We're going to wake up tomorrow feeling FIERCE!
Aw, you're so sweet. I do feel somewhat better today, even though Zeke woke up at 4:15 in the morning apparently feeling much better (which is good) and wanting to play. At least he had the decency to fall back asleep at 5:15 and sleep until 6:30. And now I'm working in my office, and Grayson, my friends' 4 year old son (they're visiting from the mainland) came in to chat, and said, "Wendy, I love you." So it's not such a bad day.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad today is a better day.
ReplyDeleteBut I know what you mean. I have been working, working, working, to tighten up my mommy belly. Well, now that it's almost flat and I can see what was under the shelf, so to speak, I discovered I had stretch marks I never knew I had. It was so tempting to just give up. I'll never be the hottie I once was again, so why try?
But, I know that all any of us can do is be the best we can be now.
Sometimes that means indulging in cute clothes that you will only wear to the market or the preschool. I'm sure Jason loves you no matter what you wear, but think how amazing it will make you feel to know you rocked his world by taking care of yourself and making yourself feel good.
When I can afford it, I splurge on cute, trendy clothes at Old Navy, Target or the Banana Republic outlet and wear them to my MOMS Club meetings or when I go out with my girlfriends or to the grocery or library.
I figure that I would never have been caught dead going out looking like I do now even to the market before I had kids, so why should I feel disgusting now just because I'm a mom?
It really doesn't matter who else sees you looking good as long as you feel good.
Dawn is right! Do little things to make yourself feel not common.
ReplyDeleteAnd whatever you do, remember that you rock for many reasons beyond what you wear. You seem vastly more interesting than so many people and that counts for a lot.
And prepare to worry if you're dealing with Zeke one day and you hear your mother's voice, for example, coming out of your mouth. At least for me, that was when I knew those days were over...