I'm nervous about my upcoming trip, and its sort of consuming my brain and my emotional well-being:
- I'm worried about my grandmother. Not only worried about her, but also not looking forward to seeing her in the state she's in, or seeing my grandfather be all depressed about it. Plus I hate hospitals, and I'm not thrilled with the prospect of having Zeke hang out in one, particularly given that his track record of one ear/sinus infection after another doesn't say much for the strength of his developing immune system.
- I'm dreading the exceedingly long plane trip with Zeke. I have no reason to believe he'll be difficult, except that I'd sure as hell fuss if I had to spend 11+ hours on a plane in someone's lap, even if that lap belonged to my mother.
- I love my family, but whenever we all get together I get anxiety attacks -- oldest child fears of disappointing people psychobabble bullshit blah blah.
- Work is slow and my billable hours are for shit, so taking a week off isn't going to help. But they're still paying me and not complaining about it, so whatever.
- I feel fat and gross. I've never had a gut in my life, but I can't seem to lose the baby mush around my middle and it's making me feel repulsive. After the next baby (*knocks wood, throws salt over shoulder*) I'm totally getting a tummy tuck.
On an up note, today is Zeke's 6 month birthday, so here's another Animoto video:
Oh, sweetie. Those are all valid things to be anxious about. It's scary to see a loved one in a weak state, and it's hard for everyone involved. But even if Zeke is fussy, the trip will be fine - you might just be totally wrung out. And you will have a great time with your family - you know they love you. As for the baby weight - he's only six months old. It will come off. Big hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteWhatevs, girl..my blog ain't exactly scintillating. I'm shocked anyone reads it, especially people who aren't my close friends.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm with you on the family anxiety thing. I realized after about 15 times that anytime I spent more than a few hours at my parents' house, I came home and obsessively organized my closets. I'm serious. I didn't see the pattern for the longest time. Need to re-establish control much?
And, yeah, it's probably going to be really depressing seeing your grandparents. But think how awful you'd feel if you didn't go. Nice way to think, eh? But it works for me.
Good luck..I'll be thinking of you!
I can't wait to see you and we can compare stomachs. I don't have an excuse.
ReplyDeleteAlso meant to say that the video is great.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see you either. I'm with Susan.
ReplyDeleteAw, y'all are the best. I can't wait to see everyone either. I'm just being me. You know...crazy.
ReplyDeletehey, it sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now, but it will all be okay and as for seeing your grandmother, just prepare yourself a bit. I suspect it won't be a bad as you think. As for the rest...your family is a kick in the pants and probably exactly the visit you need. Send my best to them all and especially kiss your mom for me!
ReplyDeletelove
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(ps===but if you see me on one of the planes and zeke is fussy, please don't sit next to me....bwahahaha)