Letting go

Tonight I'm leaving for Colorado without my husband or my baby. I haven't been away from either of them since Zeke was born, and I'm having a difficult time accepting the fact that Jason is perfectly competent to take care of both of them and that they will be fine without me.

I am spending today doing everything I can think of to make Jason's life easier over the next four days. As I type this, I've got a pot roast and a lasagna cooking, and later I'll make a batch of puttanesca sauce so that he'll have plenty of food at his fingertips and won't have to worry about cooking. I've folded all of the laundry, shampoo'd the rugs, taken the cars to have their oil changed, and made a comprehensive list of phone numbers, insurance IDs, doctors, and bank PINs.

And now I need to get over it. Jason will be fine. Zeke will be fine. The only one I'm not sure about is me.