Tuesday, October 25, 2022

The kid is more than all right

Josie turned 13 in late September, and I'm a month late doing her birthday post. 

Birthday posts are hard now because my children are teenagers and their lives are theirs. I have all kinds of funny stories that I might tell my mom or a trusted friend, but I am very mindful of protecting their privacy. Which means that I am not going to tell their stories here, with very limited exceptions. 

In that spirit, here are some non-embarrassing examples of why my daughter is a truly lovely human, in addition to being utterly hilarious and fun. 

She does funny voices and cracks jokes and keeps everyone laughing.  She walks around the house dancing and twerking. She is either super cute in jeans and crop tops, or she goes to school looking like a homeless person, wearing oversize t-shirts and pajama pants. She sends texts that consist of strings of two or three word messages that eventually add up to a full sentence.

This had me rolling

The current thing is to talk like Jennifer Coolidge in Legally Blonde -"I'm taking the dog, dumbass." Her imitation is spot-on, and it's never not funny.

A few weeks ago she decided that she wanted to paint her room a different color. She got some new bedroom furniture for her birthday, courtesy of her extraordinarily loving and generous grandparents, and wanted a new look that was more mature than what she had.

So we walked up the block to the Ace Hardware and studied the paint options. She had a very clear idea of what she wanted, and decided on a pale beige-y grey that has very subtle hints of pink. I tend to gravitate towards bright, bold colors so it felt weird to go with something so muted, but it's her room and she gets to choose, and it looks really great. 

I was telling Greg about this and he was amazed. Not about the color, but about the fact that it took us 20 minutes to pick it out and Josie had no doubts that it was the right one. 

Almost a year ago, he fixed a squeaky stair, which led to a decision to replace the carpet. After months of deciding on a carpet, he had it installed and immediately declared that he hated it. The color (beige) didn't go with the walls (also beige). 

That led to a decision to repaint the walls, and then months of trying to pick out a shade of beige that wouldn't clash with the beige of the carpet (my suggestions to maybe try something other than beige were met with derision). Paint samples were purchased and tested on various walls. "My house looks like a leopard," he said.

Again, making a final decision took months. Thank goodness he likes the way it looks, because at this point if he didn't, my advice would have been to burn the house down.

"So you just went to the store and picked out a color and Josie's happy with it??" he asked.

"Yep."

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

Mind blown.

Anyway. 

Josie and I went home and got out the painting stuff and got to work. I showed her how to use the roller and how to paint edges by placing the paint on a certain part of the brush and holding it in a certain way. It was fun to work on a task together. 

"Why don't we put on some music," I suggested.

She put on the Grateful Dead. 

I looked at her, bemused. 

You have to understand that this is a child who thinks that nine-minute jam band songs are an abomination. She's thirteen. She's supposed to be surly, especially about my generation's musical choices. I'll be listening to Dead & Company in the car and she'll exclaim, "how can you possibly listen to a song that's this long??"

So it was a surprising choice.

She shrugged. "I know you like it, Mom, and I appreciate you helping me. I love you."

She is the sweetest girl. 

She is sweet to everyone.

Yesterday afternoon I picked her up from school and we were talking on the way home. She was telling me about a student in her class who has autism. She understands that autism is a social/communication disorder that makes it difficult for people on the spectrum to understand social cues or how their behavior might be interpreted by others. So he's a little bit awkward, but he's a nice kid and she is friends with him.

"Mom, there are kids who bully him and talk about how he's annoying. They say shitty things and the teachers know about it and don't care. It makes me so angry."

"That's awful. I hate hearing stuff like that."

"I try to stand up for him and tell people to knock it off. But they don't."

"How does he react?"

"He tells me not to worry about it. He says he's used to it and that I don't need to advocate for him because he needs to advocate for himself."

"Ugh, that's heartbreaking."

"I know. I tell the others that it's not ok. IT'S NOT OK! He can't help the way he is. And he's a really nice guy. It's so wrong."

"It's definitely not OK. I'm proud of you for sticking up for him."


The kids in Josie's class definitely need Jesus.

She is a good person. She is decent and kind and principled. She is not afraid to speak up when others are being unfair or unjust or mean.

I'm so proud of her. I have so much respect for her. She always, always keeps me laughing.

I'm lucky to be her mom. 

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