I wasn't in touch with my India peeps for a really long time. Like, for twenty years after graduating from AES, I didn't see anyone, except for a few isolated incidents.
Then came the advent of Facebook and social media, and all of a sudden all of these wonderful people came flooding back into my life. This incredible experience - the magical confluence of being the right age, with the right people, in the right place, under the right circumstances - went from being a huge part of my life, but one that was undeniably in the past, to a current active presence in my everyday existence.
About 11 years ago, when I was living in Hawaii, Lisa and I reconnected on Facebook and via our blogs. As Facebook grew, so did my connections with people from my peripatetic childhood - friends from Israel, from high school in Virginia, from college and law school, and best of all, from India.
I reconnected with Kristin, who I have seen once in 20 years, but who is and always has been one of my favorite people in the world. I reconnected with Sophie. With Jason and Jason and Greg and Russ and Kassie and Mark and Chris and Daniel Azul and Kim and Julie and Susanna and Kristina and Raphaela and Robin and Sid and Rajiv and Paul and Boo and Carter and Jackie and on and on. We are all over the world, but I am in contact with some of them on a daily basis.
Then I started attending reunions and my head and my heart exploded. In 2010, it was emotional and sensory overload from connecting with these people and these experiences after 23 years.
In 2014, the love-buzz, the intensity of the connections, grew stronger.
In 2015, there was another big all-class reunion, and increasing sense that the India crew was a family. And not even one comprised of people that I had known at school - it was expanding to include people who I hadn't known in India because we weren't there at the same time, but who I came to know and love through the reunions themselves. It was expanding to include significant others. People like Ritu and Seana and Anne-Lene and Paul and Ingrid and Kerry and Kendall and Nicole and Sean and Marin and Lauri came into my life.
What struck me this past weekend is how much our reunions fill in the gaps of memory, which is a huge thing for me. When I can't remember, I feel like I'm losing a part of myself.
I was sitting at dinner and we were talking about how much freedom we had in India. How our parents let us do the craziest things at the ages of 16 and 17, before there were cell phones or even reliable landlines to parts of India.
"Hi, Mom and Dad! I was hired to be an extra in a BBC mini-series in Allahabad! Greg and Emily and Dan and I are going. They're sending us by train and putting us up in a hotel. See ya in 4 days!"
"OK, honey, have fun!"
"Hey, Mom and Dad! We've chartered a bus to go to Rishikesh to go white-water rafting with a couple of Canadian stoners. There won't be any chaperones or anyone over the age of 17, and we'll be camping by the river."
"Have a great time!"
WTF.
Jason remarked that the Rishikesh trip was dangerous.
"That bus ride was rough," he said. "And Kassie almost drowned in the river."
I don't remember that at all. I remember sitting around the camp fire. I remember jumping out of our rafts at one point and floating down with our life vests. I remember that Sandy and I took a shower in a freezing cold waterfall. But I don't remember any danger. Maybe I was just oblivious.
After reminiscing about the BBC shoot in Allahabad, I now remember sitting next to Saeed Jaffrey during a crowd shot and totally embarrassing myself by saying, "you look familiar! I know you! Haven't we met?" He gently explained that he was a actor and I had probably seen him in some of his movies.
We talked about the mini-course trip to Kerala senior year, and how we got busted for skinny-dipping in the ocean. I had very faint memories of that but they have all come back to me.
On Saturday, my parents had a ton of food left over from a political fundraiser they hosted that was sparsely attended, so everyone came over to hang out in the afternoon.
Jason B. brought his parents, which was amazing. His mom is hilarious and at one point pulled me aside and whispered conspiratorially, "Wendy, isn't that your ex-boyfriend over there??"
She was pointing to Greg. Who I dated for four months over thirty years ago, and who I haven't thought of as an ex-boyfriend for at least twenty-four of those years.
"Yes, I suppose it is," I laughed.
She was very concerned that I had recovered from the break-up. I found it hysterical, and assured her I was fine.
Anyway, I had exactly zero recollection that back in India, she and my mom and a couple of other women had a standing weekly bridge game and were close friends. And now, because of our reunions, they are back in touch and have plans to get together, along with Lisa's mom, Betty, and some other India friends.
As the years go by, the arms of our experience grow longer and longer, and envelop more and more people into the warm, loving hug of our reunions.
It's hard to fathom how many years have gone by.
At one point on Saturday night, a group of us was dancing and laughing. Lisa and I were literally jumping up and down. I was delighted but also amazed.
I thought, how is it that we are only a couple years away from being 50 years old? How is that possible?
I wouldn't say that I still feel 17, but I certainly don't feel any older than maybe 35, in terms of my physical fitness and approach to life.
India lives in all of us, and it keeps us young. We keep each other young.
The last dance is always to All Night Long.
Nicole said, "are you going to cry?"
"I'm not going to cry," I responded.
I cried.
Looking around at this group of old friends, all of whom feel the same magic that I do when we're together, all of whom look back on our time together as lightening in a bottle, I cried with joy for the love we have for each other and I cried with sadness because even before they're gone I miss them.
In my head, the picture of our time in that exotic place so many years ago feels like a painting that is being dusted off. With every reunion, the image is clearer and comes more fully into focus. Usually the passage of time causes the opposite to happen.
But we are our own time machine, bringing back the past and making it our present and future.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Nu?