Rededication, regimentation and discipline

I never had weight problems growing up.  I was always skinny and athletic as a kid, then I got boobs and was curvy but always in shape.  Some of it is genetics and lifestyle -- everyone in my family exercises and I always played sports or went to the gym or did something -- and some of it is vanity.  I enjoyed being thin and liked the way it looked and felt, and liked the admiring glances from men (and some women) too much to ever let myself gain more than a few pounds.

Then I had two children 23 months apart.  And while I didn't gain huge amounts of weight with either kid, after Josie was born I felt mushy and flabby.  I looked gross in a bathing suit and hated the way clothes fit me.

So I started Weight Watchers in December.  I lost 17 pounds by early March, but then Emma's accident happened and Jason and I were dealing with some other shit and I got distracted.  I wasn't eating well or tracking my points consistently, I was snacking on comfort food, and I wasn't working out.

And it showed.  By the end of April, I had hit a plateau that I had been stuck on for a month and a half.  When I entered my weight on the Weight Watcher's website, I got the pitiful "thanks for playing" message instead of the "yay! way to go!" message.

So I decided that I'd had enough.

Though many of my friends think I'm this foot-loose and fancy-free type who's crazy and flies by the seat of her pants, I actually thrive on regimen and discipline.  That's why I like Weight Watchers -- tracking points appeals to the side of me that probably would have done well in the military.  Same with working out -- when I do really well, when I'm feeling super-fit, it's because I'm doing a program, training for a marathon or doing P90X (which I used to get in shape for my wedding) or something like that.

With two kids, a full-time job, and a husband that sometimes works out of town, I don't have the time for P90X right now -- the workouts are too long (the yoga workout is 90 minutes, and the others are all about an hour) and there simply aren't enough hours in the day.  Maybe when my kids are a little older and require less hands-on attention all the time, I can revisit that program (which I love), but not right now.

So instead I ordered a program that I saw on an infomercial (I'm a sucker for buying things off the teevee).  It's a combination of kickboxing and hip-hop dance set to funky music, with some strength training thrown in.  In addition to being incredibly fun, the workouts top out at about 45 minutes (plus there's a great 20 minute, high intensity workout for when I'm short on time).  I work 2 miles from home, so I can get home, get into my workout togs, do a video, get dressed, have some lunch, and get back to work in about an hour or so.

For the past three weeks, I've been working out 6 days a week and tracking my points religiously.  And the weight is dropping.  My muscle definition is coming back.  I've got abs again.  My clothes are hanging off me.

I'm addicted to the discipline, and I feel fucking awesome.