Act like you've been there

I'm not sure where I got this trait, but I have an almost pathological aversion to letting people know when anything has gotten to me. Well, not anything. I'll cry at a sad movie without giving it a second thought, or marvel at beautiful works of art without feeling like a chump, or express shock and horror at news stories depicting war or torture.

But in other situations, I play my cards close to the vest and make a point of reacting to virtually everything like, "oh, ho-hum. La dee da." It's probably a by-product of being a lawyer. When I first started working, I sat through a deposition in which my client was revealed to be a total lying scumbag, and even though I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, I'm convinced that my reaction of, "oh, what? yeah, I knew all about that no big deal" helped us secure a far more favorable settlement than we were ever entitled to under any measure of morality or decency.

Which makes all the more baffling the reactions MIL and Pa have to just about everything. I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd be convinced that Australia is some backwater lacking all manifestations of modern civilization, instead of the plugged-in, tech-savvy country I know it to be. Seriously, it's like playing host to people that have just stepped off a time machine from the old country.

Because the highlight of their trip has been visiting Ala Moana Shopping Center, a big mall in downtown Honolulu. Which is a nice place with plenty of chi-chi stores and all, but still. It's a mall, fercrissakes.

"Oh, jeepers, you should have seen the food court. It was enooooormous. Soooo beauuuuutiful. You go in, and you're hungry, see? But it's so big and there are so many choices, it's just overwheeeelming. You don't know where to turn!"

They took pictures at the Williams-Sonoma.

"We went in one kitchens store, it was so lovely. They had this display of a stove set up with all of this goooooorgeous cookware. Wait, I have a photo here! Have you ever seen anything quite like it?"

Another high point was the trip to Costco (we're not allowed to shop at Sam's Club anymore since Jason watched a documentary about what a scummy company Wal-Mart is). They took pictures there, too. "That was quite an adventure!"

No outing, however seemingly insignificant, is immune. We pull up to a shopping center, grab a cart, and walk inside.

"Oh, Wendy, what's this store? This is a gorgeous place!"

"Uh, it's a Safeway."

*sigh*