I tend to do that. Go off and on, I mean. And when I'm on it, I'm really disciplined and good.
But then I'm not.
So last year, in preparation for my Israel reunion, I did Insanity. And it was -- wait for it -- insane. Not particularly fun, but certainly an effective program. And I lost many pounds and inches and went to the reunion in the dress I had been working to wear, and all was well.
Except that afterwards, we were moving and then I was changing jobs and then J had his hernia surgery and I just didn't have the mindset to stick with it. So I ate what I wanted and didn't have much time to exercise, plus there were the daily offerings in the break room at work of leftover pie and "hey, taste this new recipe I made" and "there's extra Halloween chocolate, help yourselves!"
Now I've got another reunion coming up. Celebrating 20 years since I graduated from college.
20 fucking years. Holy shit.
And in the fall and winter since my last round of serious exercise discipline and dedication, my slack-ass-ness has resulted in an additional 6 pounds of chub on my 5'2" frame. Not good.
So I'm back on the wagon.
I'm not sure what it says about me that I feel the need to pretty-up in preparation for seeing people that I haven't seen in 20 years -- I mean, really, who gives a shit?
But I do (give a shit, that is). Call it vanity, call it clinging to the trappings of youth, call it superficial.
Guilty guilty guilty.
But I feel like if I don't show up bearing some resemblance to the little hottie I used to be, I have lost. Or given up.
I'm not prepared to give up yet.
Maybe for the 30th reunion, when I'm 51, I won't care. But right now, I still do.
So 2 weeks ago, I started another program: P90X and Weight Watchers. That's another thing I tend to do -- programs. I like the regimentation of having a schedule that tells me what I need to do on which day, for how long. It gives me a sense of control. Same with the points system on Weight Watchers. I do well with structure.
The first two weeks were predictably difficult and somewhat discouraging, because I didn't feel like I was seeing results right away. I was getting used to the program, and all the resistance training was probably adding a little bit of muscle weight, so my weekly weigh-ins were not sources of joy.
But like an old steam engine, I feel like I'm slowly but surely gaining momentum. My metabolism is picking up again and I''ve started dropping pounds. My muscles are responding to the weight work and are regaining their definition. My clothes are drooping a little bit.
I feel good.
And by June, I predict that I will feel great.
Cheers to feeling great by June!
ReplyDeleteFor the past month I've been getting zero exercise and eating cookies every day "because I just had a baby" and "I need the extra calories for breastfeeding"
I won't be doing Insanity, but it's at least time to cut out the cookies and try to go for walks or something.
And thanks for saying what 99% of us think - "I care". It's the women who pretend they don't and secretly count calories who are infuriating.
FVM - They are infuriating, aren't they? I admit it -- I want my ass to look good when I see the guys that I crushed on all those years ago, the ones who blew me off.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate to point out the obvious, but you *did* just have a baby. Go easy on yourself -- you've got a lot on your plate. But if you're ready to get back on the fitness wagon, then go for it.
Definitely by June! I am certain. You're very goal oriented, and when you put your mind to something, you charge full steam ahead.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't imagine getting to a point where I don't care. I'm much less obsessive than I used to be, and kinder to myself...but getting to not caring and not working on it? Nope.