Thursday, March 10, 2011

I tried to come up with something clever about a boil on the ass of humanity, but I got nothin'

First it was the ear infections.  One after the other, each treated with a different antibiotic -- amoxicillin, cefdinir, zythromax -- nothing worked.  Josie still had persistent pus in her ears that wouldn't go away.  The doctor tried one more round of a different antibiotic and told me that I had to bring her back in two weeks to check her ears.  If they still were infected, we'd have to try other remedies, like shots or tubes. 

So she did her course of medication, seemed to get better, but then her nose started running again, which always seems to be a sign of another (or the same) infection.  So I made the appointment with the pediatrician, fully expecting that her ears were still fucked up.

Amazingly, they weren't.  She had a runny nose, but her ears were free of infected-looking pus.

Now the problem was that all the antibiotics had given her a raging yeast infection.

So I whipped up a batch of magic butt (or in this case, vajayjay) paste,* including an extra batch for her teachers to use at school, and slathered it on with every diaper change.

I was changing her diaper after a few days and noticed that the yeast infection seemed to be healing.  Victory!  But then as I was putting paste on her, I felt a hard lump on the inside of her right butt cheek.

The Passover plagues
She has a massive, painful boil, right near her anus.  Which makes it difficult to sit without leaning to one side and difficult to be wiped off during a diaper change without intense pain.  Plus, if it comes to a head and bursts, it could lead to more dangerous infection if it comes in contact with poop.

Poor monkey.  I feel horrible for her, though she's a tough little girl -- she doesn't really fuss and has weathered the recent spate of one-malady-after-another with remarkable aplomb.  I, on the other hand, am a wreck.  I'm good at taking care of sick kids, but I become horribly agitated and nervous when one of my kids has an injury or an illness.  Along with any prescription the doctor gives, I should ask for some Ativan for myself.

So I've got a call in to the pediatrician for advice, and I'm letting her sit in a hot bath and run around naked, and I try to position her on the couch to watch Elmo so that she leans to one side.  And I guess there's not much to do but wait it out.

And hope that as the boil heals, we don't get beset by locusts or cattle disease or something similar.  Passover is just around the corner, after all.  You never know.

*Magic Butt/Vaj paste recipe (handed down to me by my friend Karen):
1 part zinc based diaper cream
1 part lotrimin (anti-fungal) cream
1 part hydrocortisone cream

Spread liberally on affected area.  Marvel at the speed with which affected area gets better.


  1. Jeez, Wendy, I'm so sorry. It just seems endless. And for boils, I thought you lanced them...but as you said, you can't do that because it could lead to a dangerous infection. Argh! What do they do - give antibiotics? And you should definitely get some Ativan or Valium and take the edge off. Hugs to you all, and here's hopes for no plagues of anything.

  2. Oh poor baby! She sounds like she is totally a trouper. I'm so glad the ear infections cleared up, those are no fun.

    And the booty cream! Our doctor sent us home one time with a similar recipe, but it also included
    one part neosporin-type ointment along with the other 3 ingredients. Love that stuff.

  3. Lisa - Thank you. We're rolling with the punches. She's a tough little cookie and only appears uncomfortable when there's direct pressure on the boil, so she's doing OK. The docs put her on Keflex, which is used to treat staph infections, so fingers crossed all will be well soon.

    Laura - that cream is the shiz. I sometimes add neosporin as well, but didn't this time b/c it was so clearly yeast, the lotrimin was the key.