Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Can't I just give her my dog-eared copy of Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? and be done with it?

I'm on all these email lists from baby/parenting websites, leftover from when I was naive enough to believe that message boards populated by equally clueless first-time parents would be of any value.  I'm too lazy to click on "unsubscribe," so I'm bombarded daily with 80 bazillion emails about my toddler's developmental milestones and "5 ways your baby's crib can kill her!"  Plus I get lots of product offers for diapers and whatever.

Then today I got this from Mamapedia, which is kind of like Groupon for parents:

First of all, my daughter isn't even 18 months old, so thanks, Dot Girl, but I'm good for a while.

Second of all, What. The. Fuck.

When I got my first period, my mom and I weren't even on the same continent (we were living in Israel and I was in the States for the summer, so my friend's mom had the pleasure of dealing with me when it happened).  And it wasn't a big deal.  I had read my Judy Blume books so I knew what was going on, and it was fine and not even remotely emotionally charged or traumatic or anything.  My "practical kit" was a box of sanitary pads.  No "facilitation of healthy communication" was required.  I called my mom and told her the news, and she said something about growing up, and that was that.

Seriously, is this a thing?  Is this what people do now?  Is every single event in life now the subject of a marketing strategy?


  1. I am not supposed to be here, but I couldn't let this one pass by without saying WHAT?

    My girls would die. DIE. Chloe and I handled it pretty much the same way you and your mom did. Soph's still waiting (not anxiously) and our conversation about it went like this:
    "You have any questions?"
    "Geez, Mom. I'm twelve. What else is there to know?"
    "Oh, right."

    Of course!

    To answer your last question - apparently so.

  2. Good to know that I'm not alone in thinking this is insane.

    And I love Sophia.

  3. i don't want to think about this crap and i sure don't want it marketed. i think my girls have sorta figured it out and man, other than handing them a box of whatever, i'm not going to get all crazy on them.

    i'm such going to say, "you have sex? you get pregnant." end of story.

  4. Gorillabuns - I don't want to think about it either. But I find it inconceivable that when the time comes, she won't already be clued in, with all the information kids are bombarded with. Hell, I grew up without the internet and I knew, from friends, school, books, whatever. In any event, I like your philosophy and approach. :)