Friday, September 17, 2010

Time lost, time gained

The alarm goes off at 5:30, just as I've set it to.  I've actually been up for a half hour already, half dozing and half admiring Zeke's sleeping face.  J was out of town last night, so I let him cuddle up with me. 

Kathleen and I are going to Atlanta today to visit some of our old crew.  Our flight leaves at 10-something, so I've timed it so that I can get up, do an Insanity DVD, clean up the house a bit and get organized, and then get the kids up and off to school before I pick up Kathleen and head to the airport. 

I don't feel like I'll have time to exercise at any other point in the day, so I really, really want to get this workout in.  I'm 7 weeks into the 9 week program and I'm losing weight and inches and it's going great.  I know one day won't kill my progress, but I don't want to lose momentum.

I make the coffee, prepare my water bottle for the workout, put on my clothes and my heart rate monitor, and start the disc.  The workout is super-intense, but only 40 minutes or so, so I feel like I've timed it perfectly.  I start the jog, then the jumping jacks, then the high knees.  I check the heart rate monitor, and my rate is creeping up nicely.  I start to feel awake.

Exactly 3 minutes in, I hear Josie screaming her face off.  It's a solid 1 1/2 to 2 hours before she normally wakes up.


Maybe she's hungry.  I stop the disc, find a clean bottle and fill it with milk and head down to her room. 

"Hey, sweetie," I whisper.  She calms down and holds her arms up to me.

"Are you hungry?  Do you need a bottle?"

She makes a kind of "mmmmh" noise in assent, rubbing her eyes and still whimpering.  I sit down in the rocking chair and she settles in to my arms and drinks the bottle. 

Rock, rock, rock.  10 minutes go by.  She's very relaxed and happy now.

When the bottle is empty, she sits up and looks at me.  "Ba ba dee."


I know she's not ready to get up yet.  She sticks her middle and ring fingers into her mouth, leans forward, and curls up on me with her head resting on my shoulder.  I support her butt with one forearm and wrap the other arm around her, rubbing her back and whispering in her ear. 

As her breathing slows and becomes more regular, I just hold her.  From time to time, I pull her a little bit tighter to me as the surges of "oh my God I love this child so much" wash over me.

I wanted so much to get some exercise in, but I don't feel the slightest bit of annoyance or frustration with her.  Just contentment as I sit and rock and hold her and she falls back to sleep.

I've lost my window of time.

Maybe I can get a quick workout in before dinner tonight.  Or I can just do two of them tomorrow.

It doesn't matter.


  1. That is really the sweetness, isn't it? I love that. Have a fun weekend with your old friends!