Friday, July 09, 2010


I'm back at the office after two days at home with Josie, who has been suffering from an ear infection.  Zeke joined us at home yesterday morning when he was apparently incapable of functioning at school because he decided that he needed to join me in the middle of the night before when I was up trying to get Josie's fever down.  I haven't slept more than two hours at a time since Monday night, and I'm completely running on fumes.

Normally when the kids go to bed, I can sort of exhale, knowing that I can read for a little while and then sleep uninterrupted until morning.  But Josie's fever kept spiking and I guess the pain in her ear made it uncomfortable for her to lie down for long periods of time, so I've been constantly trying to figure out which combination of Tylenol, Motrin and cool washcloths would get her temperature down, and then holding her upright so she could sleep on my shoulder.

Mama's tired.

Last night at around 2 in the morning, I finally got her fever under control, and she went to sleep until around 7.  I lay there, half dozing and waiting for her to start crying again.

When she woke up with a cool forehead this morning, I whisked her and Zeke off to daycare and went to work.

It would be nice if I were independently wealthy and didn't have to work.  But truthfully, coming to the office is kind of a relief.  I can sit at my desk in my quiet office, play my music on iTunes, have a coffee and work without interruption.  No one's crying, no one's asking me for water or goldfish or birthday cake, no one needs me to change their diaper.

I don't know how stay-at-home moms do it.  Of course I love my children, and I love spending time with them.  Last night Zeke and I were in stitches as we ran around my bedroom, playing a game in which we ran across the room, jumped up and then fell on the floor giggling.

"Jump high and then fall on the floor, Mama!"

But daycare is a godsend, as far as I'm concerned.  I believe the kids derive enormous benefits from it - socialization, turn-taking, following instructions, sharing, a structured day that I probably wouldn't have the discipline to provide consistently.

I also believe I'm a much better mother, and a much happier person, for not spending every waking moment with them.

Dr. Laura wouldn't approve, I know.

But fuck her.


  1. Anonymous11:01 AM

    We signed Peabody up for daycare yesterday. Amen....

  2. Perhaps doggy day care is calling my name...!

  3. Anon - can I tell you how much I'm giggling that you call him/her "Peabody"?

    Moosie - I've used doggy day care before (when I had dogs, obvs). I found the dogs were happier to have people and like-minded critters to hang out with during the day.

  4. I originally wanted to stay home with Walt and was bummed when things didn't work out that way. But I think the powers that be knew me better than I knew myself. Because when I was freelancing earlier this year, I took over part of the daily Walt care that Fred does. After my first full day with Walt, I came home and told Fred, "You win. You have the harder job."

    It's mainly the tedium. I adore my fascinating(to me) child, but pushing him in a swing for 45 minutes can make me want to stick a fork in my thigh to end the numbness.

    Hat's off to all of the stay-at-homes.

  5. I never thought I'd be one to stay at home, but right now, due to a variety of factors, it's the best choice for us.

    I will tell you that it took a long time for me to give into it. I adore my little person and most likely will adore my person-to-be, but I do fear that my IQs are slowly dripping out of my ear.

    In the ideal world, we'll come up with a workable plan for me to go back to work part time and also to be with the monsters part time. But that's a way off. In the meantime, I'm trying to think of it a great time of their lives I'll never be able to get back.

    All that said, I am looking forward to Elliot's starting two days of school in a few weeks.

    (Also, Dr. Laura is a judgy-mcjudgy face who is not a real doctor of psychology or the like. She is also unkind, so who cares what she thinks.)