Monday, July 12, 2010

Aussie word of the day: embracing the criminal ancestry

Today is Jason's birthday, so this post is for him.  Happy birthday, honey!

So technically, this isn't a true Aussie word of the day post because I'm not translating Aussie-speak or highlighting one of Jason's uniquely Australian expressions.

It's more of a marvel at how for American women, the Australian accent is apparently the ultimate impetus to cast one's morals and one's panties by the wayside.

For as long as I've known Jason, American women have thrown themselves at him shamelessly, even when they knew he was with me, even when they knew he was married with kids.

About six Novembers ago when we were dating, he had been in Australia and came back to the States to live with me again.  We met up at the airport in Atlanta and immediately got on a flight to New Hampshire to go spend Thanksgiving with my family.  We hadn't seen each other in 2 or 3 months and spent the flight cuddling and shmooping all over each other.  We were very obviously together.

But that didn't stop the cute 20-something flight attendant from falling all over herself to get him drinks and snacks, or from slipping him her phone number as we got off the plane.

Ladies working the grocery store checkout line get all giggly and school-girl-ish when he talks to them, even when they're obviously on the other side of 50.  One woman who was clearly a grandmother said, "honey, you better stop talking and get out of here before I fall in love with you."

He even had a lesbian ask him to donate sperm so she could have his child.

When women I meet find out I'm married to an Australian, they invariably start cooing and ask me if I just melt for the accent.

What's funny is that I really don't.  I love Australians, and I love Jason, but I actually find the accent kind of nasally and grating.  I don't even really hear it when he talks, except when he's playing it up for effect.

(Now if he were a Scot, oof, forget about it...*fans self*)

The attention he gets from other women doesn't bother me.  I'm not the jealous type, and I know he loves me and wouldn't cheat on me.  I find it funny, and the brazenness is a bit astounding, but I don't get upset.

Plus, his way of dealing with it is often hilarious.

There's a woman at his work who has been super nice to him and who asked him if he would do some wiring at her house.  He'll generally jump at the opportunity to do side-work as a way of earning some extra cash, so he told her he would.  Then a few days ago, she started bringing him smoothies and getting kind of flirty.

Mind you, she's in her 50s.  And she knows he's married and has children.  I told him that maybe she got optimistic when she heard his wife is older than he is.

Then she invited him to join him at her lake house, which is in another state.

Being Jason, he couldn't just say, thanks but no thanks, I doubt my wife would approve.

He had to add that he can't leave the state.

When she asked why not, he told her he's a registered sex offender.

She hasn't bothered him since.


  1. Anonymous8:04 AM

    Jason is my hero.


  2. This had me laughing at my desk. Happy birthday to Jason!

  3. Hahahaha! Happy birthday, Jason!

  4. Anonymous8:01 PM

    Happy Birthday to Jason! Wendy, thank you for making me laugh - it was f^&%%*$ hysterical! Judy

  5. That's hilarious! And brilliant.