Friday, January 02, 2009

Looking back, and waiting

Happy New Year, everyone. I'm back. I missed you.

The Denver trip was good. I got to spend time with Kathleen, hang out with my cousin and her family, and catch up with an old college friend who lives in Denver and whom I'm really looking forward to seeing on a regular basis.

The interviews went well. But interviews are like first dates. You're all anxious and excited beforehand, then they seem to go OK, everyone appears to be enjoying themselves, and then they're over. And you're left with the "well, I felt good about it, I think they felt good about it, but are they going to call me" feeling. I should know something in a couple of weeks, but until then I'm in limbo. My least favorite state of existence.

Over the past few weeks, all I've seen every time I turned on the TV or opened a magazine was a year-end list of bests and worsts, or some similar retrospective. In that vein, it's been a weird year for me. Highlights would be my friends all visiting for my birthday in February and having time off to spend time with Jason and surf. Watching Zeke grow and learn, and helping him along that path, has also been great.

But mostly I feel like the past year has been tough. My grandmother died. Jason and I both are out of work. The year has brought trials and tribulations for close friends and relatives. And as much as we can point to positive aspects about this adventure of living in Hawaii, the truth is that it has ruined us financially. Two years ago I lived in a nice little house in Atlanta with a relatively low mortgage, and I had a steady job that allowed me to live comfortably and well within my means. I am now in a house that is worth less than I owe, with a mortgage payment that is crushing me, and which I will not be able to pay after this month unless I either get a new job or borrow from my parents, or both. And since there are no jobs in Hawaii, the only way to live is to leave here and start over.

I am trying to be optimistic about the Denver interviews. They seemed to go well, and I have hope. But if they don't pan out, I honestly don't know what I am going to do.


  1. Welcome back, Wendy. One of the jobs you interviewed for will pan out, and you'll pack up and move. I know you're in a really stressful place, but you're not a play-it-safe person, and this has been a huge adventure. I know that some relief and stability is just around the corner for you.

  2. Best of luck in the job search. It's a new year full of hope and things will sort out soon.

  3. Limbo blows.

    But it will shake out, not because it "has" to or some cosmic force, but because of your own force of will.

    You are brilliant and resourceful and either one of the jobs will work out (how can it not---your resume, your references, your general self...) or you will make something else happen.

    Just hang in there a little bit more.

  4. I hear ya (as you know). I looked back at some of my blog posts from last year and the several flavors of limbo I experienced, and am amazed I survived! Of course, I haven't recovered financially from my 4 months of unemployment, and it will take a long time, but it's just money! (At least that's what I keep telling myself)

    I predict that in a few months, max, you'll be happily (re)settled, working and blogging to us all about how fabulous it all is! I'm sending good vibes your way..

  5. Susan7:17 PM

    Hang in there- it will all work out- I'm sure you interviewed like a pro and they LOVED you! You and Jason have had such an adventure in Hawaii you'll be able to tell your kids about forever. think about all the fun you've had! We can't wait for you guys to come back to the mainland so we can see you more often! Keep me posted!

  6. Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the warm words of encouragement. I'm doing my best to stay positive, and having such great friends definitely helps. Love to all of you.