Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Don't mess with Aussies, Part 2

A while back I wrote about Jason's penchant for practical jokes. Let's just say that you don't want to get into a game of one-upmanship with him in the practical joke department. His creativity and deviousness is matched only by his willingness to take things a step further than anyone else would dare.

My favorite story is an old one, involving a joke he and his mates played on a boss they had years ago in Australia. Apparently the guy was a real humorless prick and had done something obnoxious that warranted retribution. So Jason rewired the guy's car so that every time he stepped on the brakes, the horn sounded. He and his buddies followed the guy down the highway, watching the boss get more and more befuddled and frustrated as his horn continued to go off without explanation, pissing off all the cars around him as he sat at a light.

His latest is a doozy.

Jason recently started on a new job. Every morning, he takes with him a gallon jug of water to drink throughout the day.

From the first day of work, he discovered that one of the guys is surreptitiously sneaking water from the jug when he thinks Jason isn't looking. He doesn't ask or acknowledge the action, he just assumes that Jason won't notice.

Jason noticed immediately, and started putting different things in the water. Dirt one day. A really sweet cordial syrup another day. But the guy continued taking Jason's water unabated.

Today was the pièce de résistance. Jason brought his water jug as usual. He drank about three quarters of it. And then he peed in it.

While the guys were sitting around at lunch, Jason mentioned that he was on this new diet (I think he even gave it a name, the "Junaloi" or something). He explained that part of the philosophy of the diet involved the recycling of the body's fluids, including drinking urine.

The water-stealer said nothing. But the look on his face as he realized he had been drinking Jason's pee? Priceless.


  1. OH MY GOD! I love your husband.

  2. He's pretty damned funny, that's for sure.

  3. da Schwabber7:56 PM

    I will never get in a "pissing contest" with Jason. That said, now everyone at work things he drinks his own piss. Nice!

  4. Anonymous8:24 AM

    Was Jason in my 6th grade class & I didn't notice him? We used to harass our teacher with stunts like this. One guy pissed on a pear & gave it to her. She said it was the sweetest piece of fruit she'd had in her life.

    Hilarity. Pure hilarity.


  5. Chris -- true, but at least no one will mess with him now. If they think he's a little nuts, he can live with that.

    Sherice -- hahaha!! great story.