There's no crying on the Wall

 It was the night before that the anxiety started to hit me. 

And it was totally unexpected. I was the one who had heard about the via ferrata up the East Wall at Arapahoe Basin and jumped at the chance. I had read up on it, made sure I had all the gear, and was more and more excited as the day approached.

We made a weekend of it up in Dillon. On Saturday, we strolled down by the marina. We went for a beautiful hike near Breckenridge. We went to the amphitheater to see Galactic, a great band from New Orleans.

But later, as we were getting ready to turn in for the night, I felt a knot in my stomach that felt less like excitement and more like fear.

It didn't let up the next morning. We got dressed, got breakfast, and headed to A-Basin, and my palms felt sweaty and my stomach and chest were tight. 

As we walked from the car to the check-in area, I grabbed Greg's hand like I was holding on for dear life.

By the time we were introduced to our guide, I was getting choked up.

"I'm very, very nervous," I told him. 

He was very reassuring. "It's totally safe," he said. "You're clipped in to the line the entire time and we're with you every step of the way."

Intellectually, I knew what he was saying was true, but my body and my brain were not having it. I went outside to sit by myself and calm down. 

Greg came out a minute later and sat down next to me. He looked at me quizzically, with a slight smile on his face.

"What's going on with you?"

"I don't know!" I sniffed. I wasn't crying hard, but tears were leaking out of my eyes.

"Are you afraid?"

"Honestly, no," I said. "I don't know why I'm reacting this way. I know that I will have no trouble physically. I am not remotely afraid of heights. I know it will be fun and that I will love it."

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't know. Fear of the unknown, I guess? I've never done anything like this so I don't know what to expect - I don't have a sense of what it will be like. I'll be fine. It will pass. Give me a minute."

He nodded, patted me on the knee, and went back inside. I took a couple of deep breaths, calmed down, and stopped crying. I went back in where everyone was getting ready, putting on their harnesses and helmets.

By the time we got on the chair lift to head up to the start of the climb, I was happy and excited. No trace of fear. I was ready.

As anticipated, the climb was a blast. It was more exposed than I anticipated, but it felt amazing to climb higher and higher up the rock. The other folks in our group were fun and the views were amazing.

The big bummer was that there were were reports of lightening in the region, so we had to turn back at the half-way point. They graciously gave us the option for a credit or a do-over (they didn't have to do either one under their policy, so we were stunned when they did). Without hesitation, we opted for the do-over.

Before our second try a couple of weeks ago, Greg said, "no tears allowed this time."

I laughed and said, "got it."

And once again, we rocked it, making it all the way to the summit. 

Greg likes taking pictures of my butt

In the home stretch on the way to the summit

Laughing at the summit.

I'm convinced that part of the reason we had such a perfect day, weather-wise, is because this time I remembered to wear my A-Basin East Wall Grateful Dead shirt (last time it was my Dead & Co. concert shirt - it's the little things). 

And because the older I get, the more I realize that Colorado is the perfect place for me to live. Adventures abound, which is just how I like it.