This sounds like such a cliché, but I can’t even deal with
how much access my kids have to information that they might not be ready for.
All of a sudden they’re asking me about sex CONSTANTLY. When
I had them a couple of weekends ago, I heard references to porn.
“What do you know about porn??” I demanded.
Zeke replied, “nothing, really. There’s sex on it? Like on
the internet, there are places like Pornhub?”
For pete’s sake.
“WHERE DID YOU HEAR ABOUT PORNHUB??!! Did somebody show it
to you?”
I felt like my head was going to explode.
I felt like my head was going to explode.
“No! My friend Hugo told me about it.”
“Oh my god. OK. Well, DO. NOT. Do you understand? It’s
totally inappropriate.”
“Why? I thought sex wasn’t a dirty thing.”
“It’s not, but the way it’s shown on places like Pornhub
make it look dirty. When you’re ready to have sex, I want you to have a great
experience that’s safe and fun and happy. And that won’t be dirty. But right now, you should not be looking at
porn. It’s not a healthy thing for you to see.”
He seemed satisfied with that answer.
“Ok, Mom.”
Josie was less placated.
"Mama, what is sex?"
I sighed. "You know how babies are made, right?"
"Yeah."
"That's sex."
"But how does sex end up with a baby? How do the sperm and egg meeting create a baby?"
Ah. That one I can do. That's not sex, that's science. So I explained about egg fertilization and cell division.
"Does it hurt to have a baby?"
"Yes."
She thought about this for a while.
"Does it hurt to have sex?"
This is where I blew it.
"Not if you're doing it right," I replied.
As soon as the words left my mouth I immediately regretted it. Because what followed was a cavalcade of questions flowing from that one stupid quip. I finally had to end the conversation.
"I'm sorry, but we are not having a discussion right now about 'how to do sex' the right way. When the time is right - and that won't be for many years - we can have that talk. Some of it you will have to figure out on your own. That's just how it is. And I will be happy at that point to have any conversation you want to have. But we're not doing it when you're 8 years old."
"I'll do it when I'm 26," she said.
I started to say that she probably won't want to wait until she's that old, but I thought better of it and caught myself. No need to make the same mistake twice.
"Mama, what is sex?"
I sighed. "You know how babies are made, right?"
"Yeah."
"That's sex."
"But how does sex end up with a baby? How do the sperm and egg meeting create a baby?"
Ah. That one I can do. That's not sex, that's science. So I explained about egg fertilization and cell division.
"Does it hurt to have a baby?"
"Yes."
She thought about this for a while.
"Does it hurt to have sex?"
This is where I blew it.
"Not if you're doing it right," I replied.
As soon as the words left my mouth I immediately regretted it. Because what followed was a cavalcade of questions flowing from that one stupid quip. I finally had to end the conversation.
"I'm sorry, but we are not having a discussion right now about 'how to do sex' the right way. When the time is right - and that won't be for many years - we can have that talk. Some of it you will have to figure out on your own. That's just how it is. And I will be happy at that point to have any conversation you want to have. But we're not doing it when you're 8 years old."
"I'll do it when I'm 26," she said.
I started to say that she probably won't want to wait until she's that old, but I thought better of it and caught myself. No need to make the same mistake twice.
Love it. 26 is probably ancient to Josie!
ReplyDelete