Celebrate what you want to see more of

My dear friend Lisa wrote this blog post and it inspired me.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions - when he was here, Sam asked, "so, did you make any resolutions for the new year?" "Nope," I said. "Yeah, me either," he said.

But I believe in taking stock, in reflection, in gratitude. So I'm stealing borrowing Lisa's idea for a blog post.

It's been such a strange year. It has felt so disjointed to me, lacking any kind of continuity or theme.

I guess it's silly to expect periods of time to be thematically connected. Time passes. Different things happen.

But the past years have been somewhat easy to lump into categories.

2014 was the worst year ever. My marriage fell apart. Emma died. I felt sad and wretched and despondent and unhealthy. Deep breaths full of shards of glass.

2015 felt ever so slightly more hopeful - a fresh start. Still painful, still traumatic, but ever so slightly more hopeful. A house that was all mine. Efforts to heal and cope with all the loss. Venturing back into dating, some of which was ridiculous, but some of which was lovely.

2016 was fucking insane. More tragic deaths, reinforcing the importance of living without fear. And of course, the election.

On to 2017. More craziness, but also some sense of settling in to post-tragedy life.

And much to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for my mother and father.

I'm always grateful for them. My birthday gift from them was a trip to New York to see Hamilton on Broadway. They bring the family together on a regular basis - the beach in July, home for Thanksgiving, plus other visits in between. They are generous and loving. They are amazing grandparents.

My mother and I still talk on the phone every day. On the rare day we're not in touch, I feel off. Incomplete.

In June, they had their 50th wedding anniversary. My brothers and I threw a party for them, and from our perspective, it was as much a celebration of what wonderful parents they were as it was a celebration of their love for each other. And those two things are inextricably intertwined, I think. The strength of their relationship flows down to us, in the support they've always shown, the sense of fun and adventure our lives have had, the laughter and the travel and the emphasis on always learning and growing.

I know how lucky I am in that regard.

I'm grateful for my friends.

Through the magic of social media and modern communication, I'm still in touch with so many of my friends from high school and college and law school and beyond.

Some of them are here in Denver. I have four India friends in town, and eight or nine UVA friends (including five sorority sisters). I have some cousins here. I have friends from work and the neighborhood.

Lisa and Kristin and I have a WhatsApp chat that has been going on for the better part of a year. If I can't see them in person, being able to "talk" to them every day via recorded message is the next best thing.  Plus I get to see Lisa when I'm in Virginia, and she and her kids have been coming to the Outer Banks with us in the summer.

These are all people who love me and care about me. If I ever needed anything, I have a large support group to draw on. And they know that I would be there for them in return.

Knowing that is a powerful thing.

I'm grateful for my career.

Eighteen years ago, I took a job with a firm that practiced special education law. I didn't know the first thing about special education law. But since then, I've had the good fortune of working with amazing people who have dedicated their lives to educating children with disabilities, and to support them in their efforts. The work is interesting and challenging and rewarding, and I love it.

I'm grateful for my health.

I'm fit and strong. I almost never get sick. I may be 47, but there really isn't anything physical I want to do that I can't do. I ski hard, I hike hard, I work out hard, I play with my kids hard. In February, after a big case at work finishes up, my birthday present to myself will be a trip to Mexico to go surfing. I'll spend the next month and a half doing some dynamic/plyometric type drills to improve the "pop" in my pop-up on the surfboard, but any limitations in that regard will be skill- rather than age-related.

My ass still fits into my jeans and my mother passed on her good skin. Very few wrinkles. That plus hair dye keeps me looking younger than I am.

I'm grateful for my children.

They are beautiful and funny and kind. They enthusiastically participated in the women's march in January, and believe in equality and inclusion. They like to travel and are interested in the world around them. They are fun to ski with. They shower me with love and snuggles. They crack me up by saying, "Alexa, fart!" and then seeing what happens.

I'm grateful for all of you. It still astounds me to open up Statcounter.com and see how many people from all over the world have visited this blog. I love writing. I love feeling like I have a posse out there in the world of the interwebs.

In the coming year, I will nurture all of this gratitude - try to be a good friend, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister, a good lawyer, a good writer, a good athlete. Continue to seek out adventure. Continue to seek out love.

Happy New Year.