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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Amnesia

Sunset on the North Shore of Oahu. Why did I leave, again?

There were so many legitimate reasons for leaving Hawaii. Not the least of which being that we simply couldn't afford to stay. We would have lost our house.

And there was the isolation. It's so, so far away. I hated being 13 hours of travel (at least, assuming no delays) away from my family and friends on the East Coast.

And the insane cost of living.

And the provincialism and racism and general closed-mindedness of so many of the people there.

And the traffic, which was so crushing that it often made me feel trapped and claustrophobic.

But right now, when my head is throbbing from sinus pressure, and everyone in my family (except Josie, miraculously) is coughing or hacking or snurfling in one form or another, and it's cold and winter will be lasting at least a few months more, and I have to scrape the ice off of my car before I go anywhere...

right now, when the thought of being able to drive 5 minutes, like I used to, and be on the beach, feeling warm and healthy and relaxed, with my children happily playing in the sand and my husband and me taking turns grabbing a few waves on the longboard...

right now, all of those legitimate reasons feel very difficult to comprehend.

White Plains Beach, our local beach in Hawaii, 5 minutes down the road from our house


2 comments:

  1. God, I can only imagine! I only moved from Charleston to Columbia, and I constantly think about how wonderful it was to live there!

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  2. I've been to both Columbia and Charleston, and can certainly understand your longing!

    Seriously, though, I know it was the right thing to move here, and many of the difficult aspects of my life have everything to do with working full time and trying to keep up with two small children while caring for a sick husband, and nothing to do with the weather, but the thought of being able to just go lie on a beach in the sun seems beyond heavenly right now.

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