When I was first bitching and moaning about the in-laws coming for a month, many tried to console me by pointing out that I would have extra adult hands around the house to help out, extra help with Zeke, and that it could really end up with my life being much easier. Grandma would be here to cuddle her grandson and I would have more time to take care of everything else.
But perhaps the most shocking thing about this visit -- other than revealing how fucking weird MIL and Pa can be -- is how utterly uninterested MIL appears to be in Zeke. Oh, she'll greet him when I get up in the morning with "hello, little man" or make inane comments about whatever he happens to be doing ("having your breakfast, are you? are you?"), but she never picks him up or seems interested in holding him or kissing him or playing with him or taking him for a walk in the stroller or anything else.
On the other hand, when we were with my parents, I could barely get 5 minutes with the kid. As with all of their grandchildren, my parents are totally enamored of Zeke and cuddle him and talk to him and play with him as much as they can.
I know that people are all different, and that I'm blessed with an inordinately loving and affectionate family, but still. It bugs me. Particularly when I could use the help.
Yesterday I had to pick Zeke up early from school because he got sick and threw up a bunch of times. I took him straight to the doctor's office, and when I got home, MIL and Pa were sitting out in front of the house in beach chairs, even though it was raining a little bit. (Weird.) When I opened the car door, they could hear Zeke crying and could see that I was laden down with my purse and the diaper bag and bags of medicine and formula that the doctor gave me, but rather than help out or say "what can we do?", they just stood there and exclaimed, "oooh, the little boy's crying!"
No shit.
Today I had to keep Zeke home because his school has a puking-plus-24-hours banishment policy. Which means I'm getting nothing done. I asked MIL to watch Zeke for 10 minutes while I showered, and from the look on her face you would have thought a) she had never dealt with a baby before, or b) I had asked her to watch over an anthrax-laced envelope. Her relief when I returned from the shower could not have been more palpable.
Then she and Pa announced they were going to the pool. Pa trudged off down the street with one of my throw pillows from the sofa under his arm. (Fucking weird!!)
The other day when I dropped Zeke off at school, his teacher remarked that he must be getting spoiled with all the attention he must be getting from Grandma.
"One would think," I answered.
But one would be dead wrong.
Oooh. My MIL was an ungrandma. My own mother isn't much better, but at least she didn't act afraid of the kids when they were babies. Come to think of it, my mother was a better grandma to them when they were babies. Now she has almost zero contact.
ReplyDeleteI'll likely overcompensate by being a grandma who smothers kids with her boobs as they struggle to get away.
But I can't help thinking - what's wrong with her? I'd be kissing on Zekes cute cheeks and making all kinds of high-pitched sounds and silly voices at him.
Ha! I'll probably be one of those boob-smothering grandma myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd (ʘ)(ʘ), as much as I love your new moniker, it's hard for me to wrap my brain around something I can't pronounce. Can I just call you "Tits McGee"?
Wendy - you can just call me the other Lisa. It's much easier!
ReplyDeleteOh Wendy, sounds like the fish-n-guests three days rule has long passed. Ack. (It also, it sounds like they do not know you have blog.)
ReplyDeleteI think they're vaguely aware that I have a blog, but I don't think they ever read it. MIL uses email, but beyond that doesn't strike me as particularly internet savvy. In any event, while the point of the blog is obviously not to hurt people's feelings, I always vowed that I would write what I want and not self-censor unless absolutely necessary. I doubt they'll ever read it, but if they do, I guess I'll have to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteIf they read it, maybe they would leave your throw pillows in the house, come in out of the rain, sleep in beds like normal people, snuggle Zeke, and get the fuck out of the house.
ReplyDeleteMy MIL-to-be is going to be an un-grandma. It is definitely weird and not something I can relate to either. It also makes Jason lucky lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteKathleen -- have I told you lately that I love you? Actually, I think I told you yesterday, but I'll reiterate.
ReplyDeleteLisa -- Lucky to have me, perhaps, but really lucky to have my mother. She's totally the uber-grandma.