I'm also allergic to being called a haole

I lived Atlanta for 13 years, and without question my favorite time of year there is spring. Within the course of a week or two, the dreary dullness of winter disappears with an explosion of life and color. The trees turn pink and red and white, the azaleas bloom, the daffodils start poking through the dirt. All of a sudden people are outside playing with the kids or tossing a frisbee at Piedmont Park or having a beer on the patio at the local pub. It's gorgeous and happy and wonderful.

The only downside is the pollen.

With the onset of spring comes an extraordinary release of yellow dust by the various trees, bushes and grasses. Cars are covered with it. When it rains there are rivers of yellow pouring into the sewers.


On any given day during pollen season, the local news broadcast includes the pollen count. The count measures pollen particles within a cubic meter of air. Anything over 120 is considered extremely high, so that anyone with any sensitivity to pollen will likely have allergy symptoms. During the height of the pollen explosion, it wasn't unusual for the pollen count to be over 4000.

Amazingly, I was totally impervious to it. Everyone I knew, including my dogs, would run around hacking and sneezing, with eyes full of goop and handbags full of allergy medication, and I would be completely fine.

How ironic that it took moving to paradise -- the perfect climate -- for me to be knocked on my ass by an allergy.

It's the vog.

Kilauea, on the Big Island of Hawaii, is an active volcano that has been erupting for years. Right now, it's erupting at two points: a southern lava flow that goes into the ocean (and adds multiple acres to the island's area every year), and a vent that recently opened and started spewing ash and sulfuric acid. When the lava from the southern flow reaches the ocean, it also emits sulfuric acid.


(the new ash plume at Halemaumau crater on Kilauea's summit)

Usually, all of that ash and acid isn't a big deal, because the trade winds blow them away. But the trades have been kind of dormant lately, so all of that crud in the air has been slowly drifting west over the other island (the Big Island is eastern-most in the island chain). On O'ahu, there are two mountain ranges that run along the east and west coasts, so this volcanic smog, or "vog," gets trapped between the mountain ranges creating this disgusting haze of brownish grey. Most days, I can clearly see the Waianae mountain range (the western spine of the island) behind my house. Last week I could barely see my neighbor's trees the next yard over.

MIL and Pa went into Waikiki and couldn't see Diamond Head Volcano.

Just to give you an idea of how extraordinary that is, here is a picture of Waikiki Beach. See that big 800 foot tall extinct volcano visible at the end of the beach? That's Diamond Head. Not being able to see it from Waikiki is like sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and not being able to see the Washington Monument.


When I got back from my trip to New Hampshire, I had a sinus infection and bronchitis. I was congested, feverish, and coughing my brains out. My doctor prescribed some medication and I was getting better. I felt pretty good, and the cough was diminishing drastically every day.

Then the vog hit, and I started coughing again, mildly at first, and then so badly that my back and shoulders are hurting and I can't take deep breaths without my bronchial tubes going into spasm. The doctor diagnosed me with "severe allergic bronchitis brought about by weather conditions, specifically VOG." And yes, he capitalized "VOG" in his discharge papers. Elsewhere in his summary he referred to it as "acute bronchospasm."

I sort of take issue with the "allergy" part. When I think of allergies I think of people who can't eat in a restaurant because one of the waiters might have handled a peanut at some point in the last 5 years. Sulfuric acid isn't really an allergen -- it's a pretty severe toxin. It can burn your skin and cause cancer. By that logic, I'm also "allergic" to arsenic, ricin gas, and bullets aimed at my head.