Thursday, September 17, 2009

Reality

Tomorrow is my last day at work before I go on maternity leave.  And seriously, thank God, because I'm so fucking tired I can barely function.  I need some time to rest and finish getting organized.  I don't feel too awful, but it's very difficult to sleep comfortably, and when I'm awake, The Joey either has the hiccups (so my belly has this rhythmic pulse to it), or she's kicking the crap out of me.  I constantly have little lumps of foot or knee or butt poking out of the sides of my torso.  

And then one week from today (assuming I don't go into labor before then), I will have a new baby.

It's a very exciting but also very strange feeling.

Even as I look at the new little girl clothes and pink blankets and stuff that I've been accumulating in anticipation of The Joey's arrival, it still feels like this surreal event that "out there" in the ether somewhere.  Reality won't really set in until she actually arrives.

With Zeke, it hit me the first night after he was born.  I was asleep in my hospital bed, and he was asleep in his little bassinet next to my bed.  He woke up and started to cry, and as the noise roused me from my slumber, I thought, "what the hell is that??"  And then it dawned on me:  "oh, yeah, I have a kid.  Huh."  

When we took him home from the hospital a few days later, we walked in the house, put the baby in the Pack n' Play, and then looked at each other and though, "what on earth are we supposed to do now?"

It took almost a month for that feeling to wear off.

Soon we settled into a routine and became used to having a baby to take care of, and took great pleasure in getting to know him.  And now Zeke is such an indisputably wonderful part of my life -- such a part of me, of us, of our family -- I can't even imagine not having him around.  

But even knowing what it's like to have one child, the concept of having two is still very odd to me.  Maybe other women can wrap their heads around it more easily, but I'm very weirded out by the fact that in a week, I will meet this tiny little person who will become my complete and utter responsibility, and who will move into my house and become a permanent part of my existence.

That's just trippy.

7 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness. I can't believe she's almost here! I remember those feelings of OMG! And soon, it'll be like she was always there.

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  2. Lori B10:34 AM

    Wendy, It took me about a month to get used to having my second around as well. But then the same thing happens..you can't imagine not having them around or even remember what it felt like without them. One strategy that we have to use to keep things sane is "divide and conquer". We each take care of one kid and trade off if one person's getting more tired. Now that their older, I find my husband and I still have to divide and conquer to manage their extra curricular and play dates. I'll take Danya to dance and he'll take Kyler to hockey and then we'll switch it up so we can spend time with both. Sometimes we'll both go if there aren't conflicts in times...but to be honest sometimes we just use the time to stay home and chillax. For example if Danya doesn't have dance...Kenny will take Danya with him to Kyler's hockey game to give me a break and I will return the favour. (-: Makes life not too overhwhelming. Can't wait to check ykour blog and see a pic of your new pumpkin. Sending you good sleep vibes!

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  3. Susan O.11:53 AM

    It is surreal to think about and then again being pregnant is surreal to think about when you're not- you so quickly forget the giant belly which was a part of you for so many months! Each of your children will amaze you in different ways- it's fun to see their differences! Enjoy your last week (if that). Get ready for some more fun and excitement!
    xoxo

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  4. Best of luck to you. :-)
    I've been where you are. There are just 17 months between my boys and what hit me the most when the little one arrived was how big the oldest on suddenly was. I wasn't prepared for that. He had been my baby the day before - and suddenly he was a big boy. And he became a wonderful and caring big brother. Still is, 16 years later! :-) I still can't imagine a life without my boys. Never will I guess. That's just the way it is.

    It's so exiting to find out who this little person inside you is. To meet and get to know someone who's already been a part of you for so long.

    Again - best of luck!
    Elisabeth :-)

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  5. I know what you mean. I still look at Elliot and think "I MADE him." (I mean Anthony helped, but I GREW him out of not much more than a bit of me and a bit of A...) It's sooooo weird. And now you will have two. It will be great and amazing. I can't wait to meet her. Take good good care of yourself this week and keep me posted of all of the developments.
    Love
    e

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  6. Anonymous7:39 AM

    Cosigning with everyone else's comments. I can't wait to see pictures of the little lady.

    I hope she has those killer dimples like her big brother has!

    Much love
    Sherice

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  7. Thanks, all! I'll definitely post updates as soon as I can when there is any news.

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