Monday, September 29, 2008

Sometimes a bad day in the surf is just a bad day in the surf.

Jason and I went for a surf this morning after dropping Zeke off at school. J got another one of those temporary layoffs he got a few months ago, so he's home for a couple of weeks. While normally the prospect of having my husband laid off would make me want to vomit, I'm actually kind of psyched about it. A) he'll continue to get unemployment benefits from either the union or the state, and B) the house is in complete shambles and I don't have the time to deal with it or the money to hire a maid, so he's got his work cut out for him.

Anyway, back to the surfing.

A surf session can go one of two ways for me. I either feel great, paddling into everything, or I get really frustrated and just want to take my ball and go home. And while I love surfing with Jason, he's so fucking good at it -- he's been doing it for almost 30 years, after all -- that sometimes I look at him on a wave and think, "Jesus, what's the point? Why do I bother??"

There's a common saying among surfers, that there's nothing so crappy in life that a bad day of surfing can't cure, i.e, even a shitty day in the surf is great.

I wish I could embrace that sentiment more. Because today I had a decent surf, and still felt frustrated and grumpy afterwards.

We started paddling out just as a set was rolling in, so I felt like I was paddling forever, getting pounded by wave after wave, and just getting nowhere. Meanwhile, Jason is skimming through the waves like a waterbug on a still pond. And I caught a bunch of waves, but couldn't quite get turned on the waves fast enough, so my rides were kind of sloppy. And meanwhile, Jason is riding these perfect tubes all calmly and easily, practically getting barreled with no effort whatsoever.

And he's trying to help me out, but I'm so irritated that I just snap at him to leave me alone. Of course, I realize that I'm being an unreasonable asshole, so then I'm irritated with myself in addition to being irritated generally.

By the time we got home, I had burst into tears.

"I feel stupid and incompetent!" I wailed.

And my poor husband is trying to comfort me, but at the same time wondering where the emergency number for the local psychiatric hospital is.

I think I just need to get more sleep.


  1. Anonymous5:18 PM

    QUICK! Get a Beck's & have a cold one with Zeke. Alcohol & the love of a child will instantly make you feel better!



  2. Am I supposed to give Zeke a Beck's, too? ;)

  3. Why not, Hazel takes a swip every now and then from the bottle.
    You caught a few waves and that is what counts. There are always going to be surfers better then you so trying to compare yourself to him would get frustrating. You tried your best and that is that.
    The surfer who has the most fun wins.
    There have been times when I have gone out and only caught a couple of waves and that was all I needed. 1 good ride is all I need.
    And at least you do not have to wear a 4/3.

  4. Josh, you're right, you're right, I know you're right.

    I think I'm more stressed out about other stuff, and it's making every little frustration seem huge.

    There is a little swell coming in to the west side tomorrow, Jason and I will head out again in the morning.