Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Pain management

My eye hurts.

Today is Kamehameha Day, a state holiday in Hawai'i. Jason was supposed to have the day off, but his boss decided to swap out having today off for Friday so the guys could have a 3 day weekend. But Zeke's school is closed today, so he's home.

So far we've gone for a walk with the dog, jumped in the exersaucer, had a yummy breakfast of bananas, mixed berries and rice cereal, practiced walking, gone to Lowe's to buy painting supplies, and played on the floor. While we were playing, I bent my head down towards Zeke just as he threw his hands up to touch my face, and one of his fingers, with sharp little nail fully engaged, went straight into my left eye.

When you're taking care of a baby, though, you can't react to pain they way you can when there's no baby around. If you yell or pull away sharply, the baby gets scared and cries. If you're holding the baby, you obviously can't drop him. So even though my eye felt like someone had stuck a needle in it, I gently put Zeke down and then spent the next 20 minutes with my eye tearing, trying to figure out if my cornea was scratched. I don't think it is, but it's still incredibly painful. But, there was a baby who needs my attention, so there was nothing to be done but suck it up and proceed with the day.

One time about a month ago, we were up at Shark's Cove, a reef up on the North Shore that's great for kids because it's a giant tidal pool that's calm and shallow. I was bouncing with Zeke in the water when I kneeled down and jammed my shin right on a sharp rock. It broke the skin and started to bleed. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I couldn't do anything but grit my teeth, wait for my stomach to unclench, and breathe through the pain. I wasn't going to scream in his ear. I obviously wasn't going to drop him in the water.

I've always had a high pain threshold. I ran a marathon with a herniated disc, for God's sake. I just never realized that motherhood would take that already high threshold to the next level.

On the bright side, if I'm ever captured by terrorists who try to torture me for state secrets, I'll be ready.

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